The 2Qs …(Quantity & Quality)
13 Dec 2010 2 Comments
With the growth of social networking, we have become more social nowadays; we try to avoid meeting people on a friend’s wedding day ; but on social networking site we send lots of sad smileys to express the sorrow. We don’t talk to our cubicle mate; but we have 500 people posting daily statuses on internet; We have divided the life into two parts: offline life & online life… 
After 16 years of education & 6 years of work life , I am left with very few friends & a heavy memory book . On social networking I have fewer friends ( send/accept invitation to/from people who mean to me, or who really is/was a friend) . I tried to understand this social networking from a friend of mine who use the site for putting not-so-honest status messages ; his friend list has more number of people whom he hasn’t met only. Yeh kaisi dosti bhai?
Friendship to me is still a bond between two or three ; where one understands ( at least try to!) each other ;have many common good or bad memories , and share a good bond of understanding ,trust, likes & dislikes . And at least for me it never started without meeting each other (!!). How can you call a person a “friend” when you don’t know the most prominent & easily discoverable thing- how he/she looks! ~
In friendship quantity hardly matters ; its so childish to see someone’s status everyday when you don’t know 90% of his qualities? Social bonding happens only after you login to your laptop ; that too most of your friends do it for “networking” ;” You really do not know when you will need him ; so Its better to keep him in the friendlist “– something really difficult-to-understand thing; you don’t go to meet your school friend in the same city anymore , but you click on the images of a colleague who is posting snaps from USA . You forget to wish your best friend on her wedding day though it is in the same city; but don’t forget to wish your friend on her birthday , thanks to the birthday reminder on the social site.
Should not we be more choosy to when we know which Q is precious in life…! If the quantity showing in the list has surely deserved the same quality then life becomes less mechanical!
The “Girl”y thing & Career
10 Dec 2010 3 Comments
in independent category, Journey called Life
Feminists stand up for equality ; Men and women are equal ; Men support women in life ; We clap for Indra Nooyi ; often your cousins call you up when they watch some successful women’s life story on TV ; They remember you as a career woman , often people get shocked to see your strong headed decisions ; Back home you learn to be informed that five of your relatives are meeting you for dinner & kitchen is empty ;at the same time boss informs you that you have a presentation at 7 AM sharp the next day . You end up fighting with your husband; Feminists stand up & suggest you to ask for equality ; and you still wonder “Whom to ask???”..
My office starts quite early everyday; we take a coffee break at 11. This has been happening for quite a few years ; at times some guys also join us for coffee. I normally avoid any discussion with new people in life because most of the times I have seen I think very differently, I always have a clear picture about my future & life ; and you know being straightforward never gives you the typicial bollywoon kinda Sooraj Barjatya heroind image. But believe me ,it creates lots of issue in professional life if the women the guys interact are well informed and also with better knowledge than the male counterparts. While having coffee with my other female colleague , I always try to divert the discussion to somewhat healthy things ; even if its movies , I really do not mind as long as it is informative & far from saas-bahu issues. But who really cares? Most of the coffee time goes into the discussion of the negligence of the husband , the sufferings as a mother , the work load put by her manager etc etc & I keep getting surprised why women being so independent still think about “negligence”!
While the entire coffee break goes on & I try to tell people one thing : Women cant rise until you remove the mindset of “getting support “ , “ having tears “ ; Why feminists call themselves self-dependent & then ask for equality? Why do you have to ask it when you can make yourself equal to anyone else?
I know it is very complicated ; the dream of flying high in career and the pressure of proving yourself as the best mother , or the battle to win the crown of “the best wife “! I would say everything depends on how you perform and how well-spoken you are. I have seen friends who wear a double faced masks , who at home try to please their in-laws & husbands & start bitching once they leave home & enter office ! Good & healthy married life is just like winning a jackpot; if you have a husband who is not “out of the world “ why don’t you use your common language to discuss the matter ? Instead of asking for equalities, why don’t both of you work equally, earn equally & think equally?
Assertiveness is the skill which every human being should have. You should know to say No or Yes at the right time. For example, I was discussing about overseas travel with a male friend of mine; He told me how much he loves his family & cant stay away from them , at the same time I knew he tried his best to settle down in overseas but he was not competent ; Now there is no point of disagreeing more because I knew he was lying ; I did not protest to what said ( though I really wanted to ! to give him back proper reply!) Sometimes you have the elders to give you suggestion from their experience; and you know that demotivates you ; you really should learn to say “No” to them if you think what they think are not rational . Our Indian culture teaches us not to fight with elders; But believe me rather hurting yourself, a polite “No” is in no way harmful. You just really don’t need to fight to say “NO”. One known person , a few years senior to me told me how good it is to stay away from foreign goods ( he learnt it from a very popular ,media attention seeking Guru -ji) ; and in no second I protested : “ Why do you have to discuss all those rubbish when we stay in the age of globalization ? You started your career in a MNC & you still work there. Your entire salary comes from some ledger of a foreign country which runs the business with foreign currency; why don’t you quit & sit at home? “ Don’t you think I did the right thing at the right time?
Male or female ; in career you get to see many types of people , each think differently , express in different way . But nothing should stop you from your goal. Nothing really matters as long as you know you are not harming anyone! And stop asking for anything, you can do anything by yourself!
Often in career, you get to see people who never went to co-ed schools , who were taught by elders not to talk to girls ; These people will never talk to you freely & never ever can take you as their superior. I really had tough time to handle them , but take it as experience and any experience makes you richer & more practical. Be straightforward while talking. Its very normal to be soft ( because we women are , isn’t it ? ) , but your softness should not be misused.
I know it’s very hard journey; the career is always challenging; and as women need to see the grocery thing , monitor the maid & cook , welcome the guest. But you should focus more on your goals; you should be creative enough to create your goals and disciplined enough to keep your foot grounded within the boundary; you should be strong enough so that only your motivation becomes sufficient always. And also reading all biographies of successful people helps a lot!..
So go girls & win the world!
The “Hatred ” or I would say ” No Love”
08 Dec 2010 Leave a Comment
Often I say “ I hate my job …”…more often “ I hate my manager , he is a jerk “..Very frequently “ I hate my life..”; “I hate that person , look at him , he looks like a clown “ ..My best friend says “Hate” is a very hard word, and life itself is soo fragile why one has to hit it with “hard” feelings ? So inspired by him I try to use the mild words “Like”, “dislike “ , “no love “etc !!
I am never religious and also not an atheist ; It irritates me when in pain you curse god –“Why Me god?”…So selfish; when you are gifted with two normal legs , two normal eyes , two normal hands , two normal eyes , did you ask God “Why me God?”..So today’s article is to discuss the word “Hatred “..And before reading my artcle you should be aware of the fact “This is not about “mushy” ”I love you ” & “I hate you” things; I have enough articles about it !”
The common philosophy is as a day is divided into two portion : with light & without light ; same way your life is designed into two feelings :love & hate ; Love with bright light ; Hate with black darkness ;We find a handful of people who hates in two different ways ; one : when you have things but you don’t think they are appropriate for you ; you are too ambitious & aim for more ; You know the future is unpredictable but at least being the owner of your present you can love/hate it & plan for your “love” ly future ; two : When you friends / enemies have better things in life , and you like “the grass is greener on the other side” start hating what you have but others don’t have!
I always wondered what gave people the REASON to hate, and possibly I would find what reason they had to love as well. one does not hate another on the basis of static things, since nothing is static with humans. For instance, you would not hate someone because of their hair, but because they had a degenerative quality about them. Degenerative to their attractiveness and moral appearance. Then it MUST be the character in one’s self, but it brings up the question of WHAT form of character. I pondered this and found that, what you hate is the opposite of what you like, thus the opposite of your own traits would be of your loathing. Say, a bank robber is shooting and being shot at by a police officer, ignoring the job aspect and civil duties, both men’s character is why one became a bank robber and the other a policeman. Complete opposites of each other in the job sense as well.
Human beings have equal parts emotion (imagination) and rationality (left brain/right brain). The way we perceive our surroundings and the angle at which we are approaching a problem becomes evident in our decisions. For example: When you ‘give up’ on someone you may have done so for a variety of reasons – ‘they were too much work’, ‘you can’t help those who refuse to help themselves’, ‘if they aren’t willing to put forth any effort, why should I?’ and so on… All of these answers come from a selfish standpoint in some shape form or fashion and that is called “emotion “ ; the way your mind reacts to something –either positive or negative ; but it is the root of all .Emotion creates a perception in us ; perception , the way we see things . Take the robber & police officer example in a Hollywood action movie & take two people ; the guy loves action movies & the girl is attracted to the emotional side of life ; the guy loves action ; it gives Adrenaline Rush ,he thanks the police office after the officer shots down the robber ; on the other side the girl feels pathetic ;she curses God “why do you give so much poverty in this world ?Why does a person become so negative & becomes a robber? Why do you give another person the power to kill another ?” The hate & love work in opposite direction here.
There in no order of reaction to “love” & “hate”. There are two different kinds of “hate.” First, we have the irrational hate, which accomplishes nothing and is the result of ignorance. This hate is probably a product of anger and/or frustration. And on the other hand, we have the rational version of hate. When we understand something to be malicious to ourselves, or something essential to us, we tend to hate whatever that element may be. But we hate it for good reason. This hate is the product of love, and usually rational and responsible fear.
I will end this discussion with Mother Teresa ‘s quote “Love is a fruit in season at all times, and within reach of every hand. ” So spread love as much as possible because it is beautiful ; it makes you beautiful and at the same time you beautify someone else by sharing it ‘ and more that anything it is POSITIVE. Anything positive makes you more positive in life ; It makes you rich , famous & a HUMAN BEING ; remember POSITIVE is the brightness , positive is the daylight , positive is your EXISTENCE.
“Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat. “
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