Journey Called Life ….

The “Girl”y thing & Career

10 Dec 2010 3 Comments

by Archita in independent category, Journey called Life

Feminists stand up for equality ; Men and women are equal ; Men support women in life ; We clap for Indra Nooyi ; often your cousins call you up when they watch some successful women’s life story on TV ; They remember you as a career woman , often people get shocked to see your strong headed decisions ; Back home you learn to be informed that five of your relatives are meeting you for dinner & kitchen is empty ;at the same time boss informs you that you have a presentation at 7 AM sharp the next day . You end up fighting with your husband; Feminists stand up & suggest you to ask for equality ; and you still wonder “Whom to ask???”..

My office starts quite early everyday; we take a coffee break at 11. This has been happening for quite a few years ; at times some guys also join us for coffee. I normally avoid any discussion with new people in life because most of the times I have seen I think very differently, I always have a clear picture about my future & life ; and you know being straightforward never gives you the typicial bollywoon kinda Sooraj Barjatya heroind image. But believe me ,it creates lots of issue in professional life if the women the guys interact are well informed and also with better knowledge than the male counterparts. While having coffee with my other female colleague , I always try to divert the discussion to somewhat healthy things ; even if its movies , I really do not mind as long as it is informative & far from saas-bahu issues. But who really cares? Most of the coffee time goes into the discussion of the negligence of the husband , the sufferings as a mother , the work load put by her manager etc etc & I keep getting surprised why women being so independent still think about “negligence”!

While the entire coffee break goes on & I try to tell people one thing : Women cant rise until you remove the mindset of “getting support “ , “ having tears “ ; Why feminists call themselves self-dependent & then ask for equality? Why do you have to ask it when you can make yourself equal to anyone else?

I know it is very complicated ; the dream of flying high in career and the pressure of proving yourself as the best mother , or the battle to win the crown of “the best wife “! I would say everything depends on how you perform and how well-spoken you are. I have seen friends who wear a double faced masks , who at home try to please their in-laws & husbands & start bitching once they leave home & enter office ! Good & healthy married life is just like winning a jackpot; if you have a husband who is not “out of the world “ why don’t you use your common language to discuss the matter ? Instead of asking for equalities, why don’t both of you work equally, earn equally & think equally?

Assertiveness is the skill which every human being should have. You should know to say No or Yes at the right time. For example, I was discussing about overseas travel with a male friend of mine; He told me how much he loves his family & cant stay away from them , at the same time I knew he tried his best to settle down in overseas but he was not competent ; Now there is no point of disagreeing more because I knew he was lying ; I did  not protest to what said ( though I really wanted to ! to give him back proper reply!) Sometimes you have the elders to give you suggestion from their experience; and you know that demotivates you ; you really should learn to say “No” to them if you think what they think are not rational . Our Indian culture teaches us not to fight with elders; But believe me rather hurting yourself, a polite “No” is in no way harmful. You just really don’t need to fight to say “NO”. One known person , a few years senior to me told me how good it is to stay away from foreign goods ( he learnt it from a very popular ,media attention seeking Guru -ji) ; and in no second I protested  : “ Why do you have to discuss all those rubbish when we stay in the age of globalization ? You started your career in a MNC & you still work there. Your entire salary comes from some ledger of a foreign country which runs the business with foreign currency; why don’t you quit & sit at home? “ Don’t you think I did the right thing at the right time?

Male or female ; in career you get to see many types of people , each think differently , express in different way . But nothing should stop you from your goal. Nothing really matters as long as you know you are not harming anyone! And stop asking for anything, you can do anything by yourself!

Often in career, you get to see people who never went to co-ed schools , who were taught by elders not to talk to girls ; These people will never talk to you freely & never ever can take you as their superior. I really had tough time to handle them , but take it as experience and any experience makes you richer & more practical. Be straightforward while talking. Its very normal to be soft ( because we women are , isn’t it ? ) , but your softness should not be misused.

I know it’s very hard journey; the career is always challenging; and as women need to see the grocery thing , monitor the maid & cook , welcome the guest. But you should focus more on your goals; you should be creative enough to create your goals and disciplined enough to keep your foot grounded within the boundary; you should be strong enough so that only your motivation becomes sufficient always. And also reading all biographies of successful people helps a lot!..

 So go girls & win the world!