It’s okay to not be okay

Girl by the ocean

Someday, somewhere, it just happened. The sun escaped to the back side of Ghirardelli  square. Those men sang a song while moving the direction of another cable car. At the intersection of Stockton and Sutter, some girls spoke tirelessly about all the deals some brands offered. A lady in a black suit passed by when you were trying to capture the waterfall falling to the ocean. Nobody noticed all that your eyes noticed. Nobody noticed the veil of sadness beyond your thick mascara and your artful persona. Continue reading

The voice for the silence

A view of the ocean

“How much better is silence; the coffee cup, the table. How much better to sit by myself like the solitary sea-bird that opens its wings on the stake. Let me sit here for ever with bare things, this coffee cup, this knife, this fork, things in themselves, myself being myself.”
― Virginia Woolf, The Waves

Continue reading


This is why we are here


I put my head right in front of the blue light of the desktop screen,
my eyes set on various pages, one where the work is done, one where

the world makes friendship with perfect human beings, one where I secretly note
down grocery list and things that I have to finish before it’s too late. Continue reading


Library, The Quiet World Of Stories

libraryOnce in a while, when people around me go to exotic locations or restaurants to celebrate holidays, I step into a library. The city library is heaven. I mean, if heaven exists, then it looks like a big library, with old books and well cushioned armchairs.

Once in a while I sit here and write out many things. I call them “word tears” from the eyes of the soul. Drop by drop. Word by word. Those words are solitude lovers, they hardly travel. They are hidden somewhere in a pretty peony printed diary. Continue reading

Six Lessons from My Dad

Duck Dyansty

These days I remember what Umberto Eco said in “Foucault’s Pendulum“. I remember it too many times.

I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom.”

Today, I am guest posting at Eli’s popular place Coachdaddyblog, and talking about my father and the lessons I learned from him. So please stop by, show your support, and help me cheering for all good fathers of this world. This is the link to click. Continue reading




Does anything
cut deeper than love?
Like glory, your scars 
envelop your pride.
And the lessons you 
learn are fluffy, left to 
feed hungry philosophers,
and budding poets
who spend extra words
to seek meanings. Continue reading



“I wonder what it would be like to live in a world where it was always June.”

It’s June and California coast is little bit more cheery, colorful and vividly rich. I just have to take a step or two nowadays to find colors these days. Continue reading


We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do


I order my usual morning coffee, the little girl on the counter gives me a big smile, ” Isn’t it a good day?”

look around hurriedly, look at the shining May Sun, the heat, the perspiration, those dried out plants, and then..well.. I try to look at them once again.

I see a cheerful toddler ready to run in the sun. A lady in bright neon tank jogging on the pathway. An old man greeting his beaming friend, four hands expanding in the air, “After a long time! What a big surprise!” 

I smile too. This one time. Continue reading


Still lifes

Still lifes photography

At the age of nine, I was taken to a popular local painter and asked to learn painting. My mother who loved art in every form, requested the painter to teach me twice a week, “She has the gift. So start with still lifes.” The painter taught me how to draw deep layers of rose petals, a lonely lime blossom under a rainy sky, and a lifeless hibiscus trying to find light through the open window. “But I want to paint human life. And a landscape of his week and month and year and I want to color them natural,” I pleaded once. “But they won’t look good forever. Flowers are fine,” the painter yelled. Continue reading


Searching Spring in Raindrops

Spring in raindrops

“Is the spring coming?” he said. “What is it like?”…
“It is the sun shining on the rain and the rain falling on the sunshine…”
― Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden

It’s May. Right now California is a warm belle, wearing flower crowns, hosting art and music festivals, and showing off magnolias, poppies and apple blossoms. Continue reading