My Myopia and A Total Monet

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I wear glasses whenever I don’t wear my contact lenses! My vision is sharp thanks to those inventions of science & lifestyle modifying research.

I blame my eyes and myopia only when my dreams don’t come true . – “Must have seen something else” – I try to save myself because I don’t wear glasses or lenses when I sleep. 😉

There is no such event in my life which I call “unhappy memory” and blame my myopia , except one. Millions of years ago, when I was little immature and not a “so called” grown up, it happened.

It was that time when my attention was mainly on my career and personal life in only one world- THE REAL WORLD. I was present on Orkut but used to value real friendship more.

And then Facebook and twitter happened. Suddenly , every birthday cake on Facebook looked more tasty ; every promotion party picture on Facebook made the REAL world a not-so-happy-place-anymore. 😉

A common friend of mine and husband used to post statuses- very good ones, showcasing her personal life. I soon became a fan of her. Lets call her just “She”.

During that time , someone at office asked me “Who is your role model?”. I took her name.
I never met her till then, but was supposed to meet in a year.

She was 15 to 18 years older than me ( Okay, folks! Age is just a number. Nothing in life depends on it.); her pictures showed celebration of life, contentment; her statuses showed many things that I wanted to be & have ,18 years ahead . For example ,a confident & compassionate career woman with happy family, happier friends – everything picture perfect!

Once during a long drive, my husband said ,” Life happens in silence. Don’t you think she does too much self-talk? ” – I did not agree with my husband , that day.

From Google Image
From Google Image

Fast forward to next 6 months since I met her for the first time. I had several face to face interactions from that time.

I found that she stays mostly on social networking sites and neglects her career. That’s fine.  “ I am not here to judge her or anyone.” – I thought.

She cribs. She gets jealous of every other hard working better performers. That’s fine too.

She does not appreciate achievers ; and does not invest time to modify her own work performance.

She talks about painful pasts ; but appears “fake” with all of them who caused that pain. She is very good to people on face and exactly opposite behind.

Several times, she criticizes people who caused her pain while writing nice “I miss you” stories about them on Facebook – both at the same time.

She judges every other person. She forgives hardly. But She puts beautiful quotes on Facebook, every other day.

She stays in the past, most of the times; and makes quite a miserable present for everyone around her.

She gets upset if her followers ( for example : I ) *like* people who she does not like in real life.

She also talks many things about women empowerment ,feminism, women liberation etc on Facebook. Those things are very close to my heart. I support women liberation , I believe in “gender equality”. Her Facebook statuses about those topics were most important reasons to call her my “role model”. But ,she hardly encouraged me to aspire more ( even though she knew I was her fan and I always loved my career.) , to work on those issue.

Months passed. And slowly, I found I was not attracted to her “super power” Facebook statuses anymore. I never liked hypocrite people.

Personal meetings with her became “heavy” too. I could not take her “baggage” anymore since she was so negative about everything . She was changing into anything but “role model”.

But, I stayed in touch , respected her , talked to her with compassion, until I came to know she judged me too.  And once again, that judgment was not right and a bit harsh. I also realized I stopped liking her . And I could not be another hypocrite.

Anyways.

This thing happened millions of years ago.

I am not in touch with her anymore.

But, I hear from a few close friends that she has not changed , still . She still has many Facebook friends ; of course very few real ones. She still posts happy pictures , good quotes on Facebook. She still makes people look bad to make her look good!

From Google image.
From Google image.

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I liked “clueless” , I read “Emma” too. Trust me , meeting a total “Monet” in real life is good. They help you chuckle & sigh, at the same time.

You may even feel that millions of years ago, you learned many lessons:

  • You visit your eye doctor more frequently
  • You come to know that jealousy, comparison do not serve any good in real life.
  • You understand life is not ONLY about picture perfect posts on virtual world. REAL LIFE HAPPENS IN SILENCE .
  • You also learn that letting go things is the best practice ( and sleeping them off too! 😉 ).
  •  Success & failures are just two sides of the same coin. Things happen! But it’s on us to decide what we want to be –  “bitter” or “better” after a while.
  • Being compassionate is the key to success and happiness.
  • You end up wondering if there is any real hero or role model available in the world. We all have our flaws, short-comings.
  • Some characters look good on stories , comics, biographies ,films. But, look at your parents, aunt, uncle,siblings, cousins – you love them for who they are ; they love you for who you are. I am sure there hides a “role model” in one of them!

On a side note ,Last year, someone asked me :” Who is your role model? Don’t say Steve Jobs. He’s very popular in your generation.“.

I thought and then said “ In personal life -my Mom. Career – Dad.

Why not Marissa Mayer or Sheryl Sandberg? ” –

I love her hairstyle and her TED talk .” – I ended with a smile!

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You check other entries about “A TOTAL MONET ”  here .

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23 thoughts on “My Myopia and A Total Monet

  1. Hello Archita, thank you very much for stopping by @ trashbus! I really enjoyed reading this piece here – there is a lot of people who don’t want you to achieve, to improve, to be free. It’s good to listen and to try and be friendly with people, but a safe distance is necessary so as not to be influenced by these thoughts of self-loathing. This is basically what is behind negative feelings towards others such as you described them. I’ll be back for more!

    1. You shared words of wisdom here. Thank you soo much for the visit and comment. 🙂 I am definitely going to carry these words with me :)..You’re always welcome here. 🙂

  2. My status update in November’12
    Everyone on fb seems so well-behaved, in bliss, picture perfect, a random advice, an inspirational quote, every damn day. God bless you
    I got 5 likes and 4 comments 😀
    Ahem! Moral of the story is you should listen to your husband more often 😉

    1. Arjun, 😀 Laughing out after reading the last line. I got a few mails with similar message in my mail box, from close friends . :D.

      Yes, it’s true. I SHOULD!. 🙂 In this case, though we both were FANs. and being a woman, I was “Heart-broken” and he was like ” I told you so” ,he was sad too. 🙂

      It’s just that I never consider anyone “role model” so randomly. That lady is REALLY brilliant and could have achieved more if she focused on things that mattered! But, it’s her life and I am glad that I still wish her the best. 🙂

      Judging people is such a wastage of time and words. 🙂 After writing it down after so many years, I felt so light. Thank you for reading this LONG post.

      1. Facebook is fun. I use it to vent. What are friends for anyway?
        On WP I behave myself, mostly!
        Long? Ah, you think you’re the only one who reads fast. Keep it exciting then watch my pace 😉

        1. Facebook is real fun. 😉 I use it to remember birthdays ,anniversaries ;). I have friends who get angry if I miss wishing them. 😦

          WP – Im using to practice writing. 😀

          Yes, I read 2 pages in 2 minutes. Now I have a competition 🙂

  3. I have de-activated my FB for a month and find it quite fake. will make a detour post a month. sometimes, people on social networking appear so fake than they really are in real life. don’t be disappointed coz in life we will meet many such people. Have faith in life, Archita:)

    1. Hi Vishal, Thank you for reading and comments.
      In my opinion, FB is real, a few people are fake there because it’s easy to hide the real identity and portray different images there.:) It takes guts to carry the real “self” everywhere. 😉 That’s what I believe about that subject. 🙂
      I ‘m never disappointed or out of faith ..:) It’s just that life teaches many things. 😀

  4. “Real life happens in silence” – I love it! 🙂 I am also a hearty believer in the “sleep it off” concept, 😀 Loved your thoughts on role-models and looking deeper! 🙂

    1. Hi Rara, Thank you for reading and comment.:)
      Yes, that is the best way- Sleeping it off! :)I do it too.
      It’s important to select thoughts in daily life – Negative thoughts always cover up the good part of life. I learned from that story 🙂 and I’m going to remember it.
      “Real life happens in silence” – I took long time to understand that! 🙂

      Ya, “role model” – I stopped that search for a while now. 😀

  5. Several years ago, before I deleted my facebook account, I conducted a social experiment. While cleaning my toolbox I discover I had twenty two hammers (each one is different). I also had an excess number of five dollar Starbucks cards (I don’t drink coffee). I posted a challenge to guess how many hammers I owned and the person who guess the correct number, or nearest number, would win the Starbucks card. Of all my time on facebook this post created the greatest number of comments. My conclusion, even on facebook you can buy your friends.

    1. Hi Patrick, Thank you for reading and comment.:)
      I am still on Facebook as one of my friends expressed : ” The best way to learn from a story – be a protagonist. ” 🙂
      Facebook plays a vital role in today’s life. But, at the end of the day, it’s on us- what to learn and what to ignore. No?

      I totally agree with your story. I also faced similar things. But friends are in so many countries now that I have no choice but to be there and filter things! 🙂

      This story I shared brought many changes in me! I made a list of “what I don’t want to be in future”.

      Also I could not be artificial ,I expressed my *real thoughts* to that person before the final “good bye”. It was hard but I am happy that I did it. That’s what real friends do! 🙂

      1. Hi Archita,
        I thought your story was great and I could see in my mind the thoughts and emotions you were sharing through your words. Friendships can be complex. My experience has been that the best friendships are equal parts of both people, not just one putting all the effort to maintain the relationship. I really enjoy reading your blog and always look forward to what you have to share.
        Take care,
        Patrick

        1. It is one important story from my life . I thought of sharing as young people search for “role model” and things look different from far. Real heroes are hiding in our real life- they motivate us everyday. But we always focus more on Superman, spider man stories . 😀

          That’s exactly I think too. “the best friendships are equal parts of both people, not just one putting all the effort to maintain the relationship.” – otherwise it is just charity or wastage of time and emotions.

          But , good people do exist. I have faith in THEM. Good things have more dimension. That’s why everyday we wake up, sun rises and the world works perfectly.

          I love reading your blog too. And thank you so much for your kind words. They motivate me to write more. Take care and a happy weekend.

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